Across the Pond

I've recently been in contact through Twitter with an author called Carolyn Jones from America. She got in touch about my challenge, she gave up drinking 11 years ago and has been telling her story and helping others ever since.

Carolyn agreed to answer some questions for me:

Why did you start drinking?

It was my senior year in college when I received a letter from my boyfriend I was supposed to marry soon. He wrote saying he’d already been married to someone else. I was devastated!  My roommates took me out to drown my sorrows and that began a 26 year drinking career.

When was the last time you had an alcoholic drink?

March 6, 2001, when I drove to San Diego to stay with my old bartender who had moved there to get sober herself.

What made you want to give up alcohol?

What happened was, I fell in love with a guy I thought reciprocated my love. I was sure he was my soulmate. When he told me in a most humiliating way that he didn’t care for me, I lost it, became devastated. All I could do for the next several months was drink and cry. I couldn’t even feed myself. Then there became a deep knowingness that if I continued drinking, I’d die. So I prayed to a God I didn’t believe in, asking for help. God sent Brad, a young guy who befriended me and helped me through the devastation. While I was hanging out with Brad, the idea to go on a road trip to “find myself” came to me, and I started my trip by driving from Sausalito, CA to San Diego, where I stayed for 1 ½ years, getting sober. I was so sure I’d die if I continued drinking, that I remained sober.

Do you ever feel the urge to drink?

Normally, no, but I just was returning by plane from Tampa, after my nephew’s wedding, and while at the airport, I thought about going into one of the bars and having a drink. That sure took me by surprise! I didn’t do it because I love my sobriety so much, I didn’t want to spoil it.

How do you feel on a night out? Is it hard to watch others drinking?

It is not hard to watch others drinking until the effects of the liquor hits them and they start talking loudly and getting stupid. Then it bothers me and I have to leave.

Any advice to those who want to cut down or stop drinking altogether?

Yes, just that I would like you to know of the beautiful world that exists without alcohol, without being high, without numbing out. A way of life exists where you feel great joy, happiness, and contentment, where you feel the ecstasy you are looking for in alcohol. It’s even better than alcohol. Get help to get sober, through AA or another support group of some kind, as having others to commiserate with is so important. If necessary because of deep emotional issues, get a therapist who is versed in recovery issues. Do the work as it is suggested. Read lots of spiritual books and journal about your feelings. Know that you will go through difficult periods as emotions surface, but beyond that all lies nirvana. :)

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Whether speaking to an audience, looking through the lens of a camera, or writing, award-winning author and photographer Carolyn CJ Jones easily creates an atmosphere of calm and peace.

Carolyn blogs nearly every day about how she overcame great adversity in life, including a 26 year drinking “career.” Much of what she discusses involves her sobriety of 11+ years and it offers hope to those who are struggling with a drinking issue, or, simply are looking for peace in a troubled life.

Topics from her nationally acclaimed book, Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, form the foundation for many of Carolyn’s posts.  Additionally, she spreads the message in her own way that “hope is reachable” (quote by Norman A. Woods, N’Side) through speaking and coaching others in the process she discovered that led her to a more calm and peaceful life.

For more information about Carolyn and her work, please visit www.carolyncjjones.com